Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
