Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
