just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
