Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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