Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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