you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
She even gives head with a lisp.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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