so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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