My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
