So drunk its hurt
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
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In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
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how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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