don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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