someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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