Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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