fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
