I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
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Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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