This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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