when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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