Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
