Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
