Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
