No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize