You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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