yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Randomize
