doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
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So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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