where am i from again
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize