Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
