How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
