i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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