CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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