Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
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Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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