This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
