man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
