so that wasnt chicken after all
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
