all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
