Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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