You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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