There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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