I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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