I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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