I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
tell me about the fingering
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