why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
