actually, I'm a sock model
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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