Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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