Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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