found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
