The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
did you just send me my own nude
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize