Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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