Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
