Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
