Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
