Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
