I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize