Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
