Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Come share oat with me in your robe
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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