Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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