Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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